Change My Climate!

Tales from a Covert Conservative:

While walking the 16th Street Mall the other day, I found myself in a bevy of left-wing propaganda:

'Sign this petition!'

'Vote for this candidate!'

'The planet is doomed in 12 years - We must change course now!'

With my hand rubbing my chin, I gave the young girl that curious dog look, and she said to me, 'Don't you believe in climate change?'

"Sure," I said. "I believe in climate change. I believe it's supposed to rain tomorrow."

'Haha, very funny,' she said. 'We are headed for a catastrophe! The Green New Deal is revolutionary!! It’s how we save the planet!!! We have to do something - Won't you support the candidates who support the Earth?,’ she said with puppy dog eyes and heartfelt conviction.

I replied, "You want to do something about it? Then go ahead and do something about it! Raise awareness, start a group, sign petitions. I support the First Amendment - Have at it! I fish, I camp, and I hunt. I love the Earth and the great outdoors. YOU want to do something - Support your local fish and game... But if you think that putting all the power and control into government hands is smart, just so they can do it for you, then you are tragically naive…"

I continued, "Listen, there are only two things that the federal government can do well, and that is build the military and levy taxes! Let's not burden them any further. The post office was near-bankrupt until free market businesses like FedEx and UPS forced competition. Public schools are a cruel joke and a myth, and Social Security is a lie!"

 I was rolling, so I continued, "Politicians have sold you a lie-- do you know why they sold you the LIE? What did you give up to live this lie? Tragically, you won't even know until it's too late! Unless you wake up now. I'll tell you --  They told you this to take away your freedom, and to gain control. They sold you a lie that worked on your compassion and on your emotion. They did this to bring you into their fold. I hope you never have to realize that it's too late... You should be scared when the government tells you it's going to save you -- Especially if they're going to save you from yourself. This is a myth and a lie that always leads to Injustice." 

She was as bug-eyed as our favorite congresswoman, so I encouraged her with, "Like I said: You want to fight for a cause as a free citizen, so please do! In America, you have that right, and it’s documented in the First Amendment of the Bill of Rights, unique to Americans. Leave the Federal Government out of it. Keep America free. We are better off this way... trust me!"

I continued, "Never trust your government, no matter who's in charge! Absolute power corrupts absolutely. I think there should be a rebellion every 20 years for the Sound Health of government..."

(Bonus: Tell me who said that for 20 points - Go!)
'Oh, umm, okay, I guess we're, like, on different pages then...'

Study history before it's too late!

Stand up, America!
Jeff Moore